Online Trainer has a deep passion for ice cream. Left unmonitored he will eat it all day, every day throughout every season even, incredibly, in winter. I've seen it happen.
The simple act of choosing a flavour does not come lightly. Be prepared to set aside a good half an hour just to mull over the list of flavours. Next the decision as to size. One scoop? Scoff. Two scoops? Three? The seriousness with which Online Trainer weighs up his ice-cream options is on par with launching a nuclear rocket into enemy territory. It is a solemn and critical decision-making process.
Two years ago I witnessed this fascinating deliberation one winter's day at the Coogee Gelatissimo. It was Online Trainer's first trip to Australia and he had arrived in the middle of winter. A great deal of time was spent carefully appraising all thirty flavours. A thorough analysis was completed as to portion size. After some time, two scoops had finally been decided upon. Two, not three. The Husband and I waited outside. And waited. And waited some more. When Online Trainer finally emerged he had a multi-coloured, towering ensemble of three scoops (there could've even been a fourth hidden under there) and wore a pained expression on his face. In a "Five Cougars, thanks"* moment, rational evaluation had suddenly flown out the window. When it came time to order, he had panicked.
So it was with mixed feelings that I agreed to go on an ice cream pilgrimage to Berthillon, famed French manufacturer and retailer of luxury ice cream and sorbet. Online Trainer is nothing if not thorough. Because he so carefully researched his ice cream target I know that, much like Coco Chanel and her passion for excellence, Monsieur Berthillon began creating his luxury ice cream in 1954 using only the freshest of fresh ingredients, intent on making the very best. Apparently to this day, his descendents still use nothing but milk, sugar, cream and eggs to create his product. A fairly impressive feat in a world full of artificial sweeteners, chemical preservatives, stabilisers and reconstituted everything else.
The flagship of Berthillon stands on the Île Saint-Louis in Paris (a little island in the middle of the Seine, just in case you don't know your French or your way around Paris) and which, as good fortune would have it, is conveniently located within walking distance from Le Marais (although Fatigado may think otherwise and impose a compulsory rest stop). Clutching his hotel-issued map of Paris, Berthillon research at the ready, it was with a spring in his step that Online Trainer set out purposefully towards his ice cream paradise, spouting fact after Berthillon fact, some retained by me (shared with you here) but most lost. Slightly less enthusiastically, I trail along behind. What I really want is a cup of tea.
When we arrive, the unthinkable.
Closed.
How this could have happened is beyond me. It is a rare event for Online Trainer to leave anything to chance. Crestfallen he may be but much like conquering Everest, if the first attempt fails, try and try again. Online Trainer had a Plan B (and most likely a plan for every other letter of the alphabet too). It turns out Berthillon was a savvy ice cream entrepreneur and also sold his coveted ice cream through other retailers, one of which we found (open) on the island. We were back in the game.
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| Indulging an obsession |
No doubt Online Trainer will be able to recall the flavours that were ordered** (I can't). I know it wasn't just ice cream; sorbet was involved as well. Because I had been down this road before, I had devised a cunning strategy designed to cut down on Online Trainer's deliberation time. I had cleverly agreed that we would order two scoops each (knowing full well this actually meant four scoops for Online Trainer and taster spoonfuls for me). Part of the plan was to magnanimously let him choose my two flavours. The effect was two-fold: kudos to me for being an incredibly accommodating and kind friend, and Online Trainer would get twice the number of flavours he wanted. Everyone would be happy.
Two types of ice cream, two types of sorbet. I can confirm Monsieur Berthillon's descendents continue to do a grand job. Of the two, my preference remains with the ice cream over the sorbet although had we been in the height of summer and in dire need of more thirst-quenching refreshment this choice could potentially be altered. Whatever the chosen flavours were they were all very nice but ice cream is after all, just ice cream.
And I just wanted a decent cup of tea.
*Advertising campaign for Cougar Bourbon, the "Five Cougars, thanks" TV ad featured blonde Canadian model Brendalee Doel as the voluptuous bar girl whose tiny white Cougar Bourbon tank top causes the male trying to remember his five mates' various drinks order to forget all of them and instead order five Cougar bourbons. Brand awareness jumped by 63% after the ad was aired. Brendalee Doel became an overnight sensation. Unfortunately she was later deported from Australia for overstaying her visa. View the TV ad here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlDXTc8IJ7c
**Postscript: Online Trainer may well live halfway across the world but, as I suspected, he remembers the flavours and has swiftly provided them to me for your benefit. The sorbets were raspberry and strawberry and the ice cream flavours were vanilla and salt caramel. So there you have it.
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